Personality traits like confidence, pride and self-assurance may appear as self-centered and narcissistic, but they are actually healthy behaviors. However, it’s when the behavior become so extreme that it evolves into what’s known as narcissism.
Those who are separating from a person with narcissistic behavior are likely to encounter issues not typically seen from those who do not display traits of the disorder.
Types of narcissism
There are typically two types of narcissism: grandiose and vulnerable.
Grandiose narcissists are the ones we typically think of when we hear the word “narcissist.” They are extroverts, charismatic and have an inflated sense of self-importance. They crave attention and admiration and often feel entitled to special treatment. Vulnerable narcissists, on the other hand, are introverts that tend to be insecure and defensive. They also have a strong need for approval but are less likely to seek out attention.
Regardless of the type, narcissists are known for being difficult to deal with, especially when they don’t get their way. This is especially true in divorce.
Tips for dealing with a narcissist during a divorce
Regardless of the type, narcissists are known for being difficult to deal with, especially when they don’t get their way. This is especially true in divorce.
They may try to drag out the divorce process to continue having a hold over you. It’s important to prepare yourself for a potentially long battle.
Gather and keep all evidence
It’s important to keep and not delete text messages, emails, or voicemails from your partner that show abusive or controlling behavior. This can be helpful evidence to use in court if your narcissistic spouse tries to paint you as the crazy one.
Surround yourself with a support team
Also, ensure you have a solid support system in place during the entire process. This could be friends, family or a therapist. Dealing with a narcissist can be very draining. Having a person to talk to is important to maintaining composure and a level head.
Protect your children
If you have children, try to shield them from damaging statements or actions from the other parent. Sadly, it is not uncommon for a soon-to-be-ex-spouse to use children to control or manipulate the situation.
While divorcing an individual with narcissist behavior can be challenging, it is possible to get through it. Proper preparation coupled with a support system, including an attorney who has the skill to advocate for your rights, can really go a long way.